Monday, October 6, 2008

THAT girl

currently sitting at my computer writing a new post (not this one--one with much more depth and a little less narcissism :) )

i just came to a new coffee shop (well i guess it's to me) in town because they have free wi-fi. um, YES PLEASE. i am all about getting free stuff--especially when it comes to the WORLD WIDE WEB which i can not access from my apartment because the forces that be hate me and my computer.
moving on. before i stumbled into this shop, i went to barnes & noble cause i wanted to buy some new books to keep me occupied in my free time (wait, what is free time?) and while i was there i thought i would just go ahead and make a coffee purchase so i could swipe my credit card ONCE (instead of a second time at THIS coffee shop) and save my cash for my gas tank which is currently on "E". no. big. deal.
until i walk in and sit down with my FREE internet and the barista boy (yes BOY...i looks about the age of some of my nanny children. ok, that's maybe a stretch) comes over and proceeds to try and persuade me to let him make me the same product that i am proudly displaying right beside my computer in my STARBUCKS cup (oops...haha) to prove to me that i should have made my coffee purchase HERE instead of THERE. i didn't feel like explaining to him my brilliant (yet now FLOPPED) plan of only swiping my card once to minimize the amount of purchases on my VISA BILL (does he even know what it means to PAY BILLS?) so i proceeded to explain to him the short version that since i was already THERE buying books, i just went ahead and made my coffee purchase. he was not impressed by my innocently motivated plan and continued to badger me to know what my choice of drink was so that he could humble me with his brilliant plan of convincing me that this hole in the wall shop--which is only open til 8:00--(i'm sorry, is this a coffee shop or a day care? the average night coffee date happens between the hours of 7-10pm...they are losing major 'first date' numbers...pah-lease) is going to somehow be better than my PUMPKIN SPICE YUMMYNESS that is acting as the only source of saneness for this HORMONAL, and quite PMS-y 23 year old woman.

he then took it upon himself to walk back to the counter and pretend like he won the battle and talk about me to his co-workers cause apparently we live in a sound-proof vortex where only people with coffee beans in their back pocket can hear the communicating sounds of one human to another. that's ok, i'll be THAT GIRL that brought Starbucks to the local shop. i'll tell the people in the drive-thru that it tastes better too. :) (wow, i'm in a mood.)

*UPDATE* i was just tapped on the shoulder and informed that the (creepy) man who had been taking promo-shots around the shop, apparently shot a really awesome picture of me through the window in my coffee-shopness with my computer, headphones and totally cool hoodie that i got at target like half a lifetime ago...and wanted to know if he could use it on the WORLD WIDE WEB and other promotional things for the barista boy's coffee shop. THAT'S RIGHT barista boy. I MADE THE PROMO MATERIAL. N.O.T. Y.O.U. i dare you to offer me another second-rate latte.

oh, and yes, i did turn down the FREE CHOCOLATE COOKIE the photo man offered me for my cooperation with his use of my rockstar photo. THAT is the definition of self control, all you hormonal beings out there.


Taylor said...

crack. me. up. loved this post, abby...and cant wait for the next. i was thinking how i need to update...maybe tomorrow?

have a good night...advil & all. :)


Profbaugh said...

You are just too funny. I can't help myself. I'm laughing in the stillness of the night. I think I just scared my dog!!

Wish I'd been there with you. Now the two of us could have raise some ruckus at the coffee shop and scared the poor, (non)persuasive boy. Oh, I'm punchy and bad!! Thank goodness He's already forgiven me for my pseudo trouble planning (lol). Man, I'd never ever live up to the law. Praise Him for grace.

Love ya bunches,
~Cheryl (Prof)

Fran said...

Love you Abby Lane...every ounce of ya!! :)

Always praying for my friend!

Patty said...

You are so funny!! Please tell me, are you talking about the B&N @ Cool Springs? To top it off you are now a rockstar. heehee

Love you,

ocean mommy said...

I just love you. :)

And for the record, I would have bought my coffee with my books too!!!


Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife said...

i just love virtual take downs. you are SO cool abby girl and i miss you!! :)))