Saturday, November 3, 2007

Why Does Aunt Flow Have to Bring so Much Food?

If you are one of the 3 or so males that read my blog (hello camp friends...) maybe this isn't the entry for you. So enjoy the day off from reading your sister-in-Christ's insights about life and do yourself a favor by saving us both the embarrassment of knowing that you have read what is about to follow.

I just wanted to share with you blog siestas those things that have completely taken over my body in the last 2 days. It seems my ovaries have an appetite that the rest of me can not control round about this time and frankly all self-control goes out the window. (And we won't even mention the mood swings...let's just say my prayer life seems to pick up during this certain week every month.) After laying in the bed for half the day yesterday trying to perfect the fetal position while my insides ripped out (lovely)...I went for a walk (which helped a little) and then like any PMS'n woman incapable of controlling herself, I headed for the kitchen. I'm sure I'll be looking up Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers in the phone book next week (who am I kidding...that thought will pass before I go to sleep) but frankly I have come to a conclusion. Calories just don't count when Aunt Flow visits. I mean, she always brings way more food than one person can handle, and just has a way of taking any care about the way you look for those 3-7 days (SEVEN...all the way...EVERY TIME...) and throwing it out with the trash. So as I ate my second dinner last night, I turned to my roommate and said, "Calories don't count right now do they?" and felt entirely vindicated and justified when she IMMEDIATELY and ENTHUSIASTICALLY responded with "Oh absolutely not!!" Praise the Lord...I knew He was watching out for me when He brought these girls together.

So anyway...this entry is completely mindless and poorly written...but I just felt like sharing my indulgences from the last two days. What do you guys pig-out on when your aunt comes?





















(ps...for copy-right reasons let me just say that I did not take any of these pictures, nor am I taking credit for them. They can all be found by searching Google Images!!)

17 comments:

ImPerfect said...

Goodness girl do I know what you mean! With my thyroid problems though I have to deal with it but maybe twice or three times a year! Which is not all it is cracked up to be, because Aunt Flow will stay longer and be more painful than normal! Whew, way too much info, but as a girl you understand. Love you and hope you feel better! I could use some chocolate raisans about now!

Fran said...

All the above...and personally, I don't know anyone who likes that woman, Aunt Flow. She's a real pain.

Alana said...

Love it! Unfortunately I struggle with wanting these foods ALL the time, not just during that time. But definitely more then!

And yes, you pretty much hit the nail on the head with things I like to splurge on!

Carpe Foodum!

Seize the food!

Jackie said...

oh honey, I feel your pain!!! between being preggo and breastfeeding I managed almost 2 whole years without a period...needless to say when it returned, I was LESS THAN HAPPY that I had to once more (and for MANY more years) deal with this HORRIBLE thing!! I need that pill that makes you have like 2 a year or something, I mean, REALLY, that wouldn't hurt my feelings at ALL!!!
Hope you're feeling better now..and that the calorie count is balancing off. I love ya tons sweet friend...you feel like a real "girlfriend" of mine now..we've talked about our periods, that's like a right of passage in friendship!! :) Love ya!

Bev Brandon said...

you are absolutely hysterical...
but i think i might be Aunt Flow...i want to be Aunt Flow for Thanksgiving!...you really enjoy life Abby...not only the insights for living...but the encounters with your beautiful God who is so all over you!!! Isaiah 62:2

Stephanie (Ocean Mommy) said...

Amen. Calories do not count and never will during those days. :)

I just love you!
steph.

Sharon said...

That whole copyright thing surly takes the joy out of some things. ;)
But we will give credit where credit is due.
Well Aunt Flow does not visit in the same way any more.Those little ovaries things are gone but I still get the munchies and the grouchies.I do try and avoid all of the things in your pictures. Girl- if I ate that way for a week I'd be looking for a new wardrobe. But when I do give in to the mood-I do lean toward the salty.

connorcolesmom said...

Oh yes my aunt flow is soon to be leaving - thank you Lord and I am so tired of the cousin zits she brings when she visits!
I also am thankful calories don't count and I love my stretch pant during that time.
Actually, I think the chocolate is calling my name right now :)
Gotta Go!
Love ya,
Kim

jennyhope said...

Girl, I guess we are on the same cycle in blog land! I am miserable right now and ibuprofen is all that I can take to stand Flow. I eat salts and sweets salts and sweets...like CRAZY it is awful. Usually chocolate chip cookies and chips or fries. Girl I also get soooo tired!!

Bev Brandon said...

i am so out of it...i missed the Aunt Flow---i was thinking about feeding my family stuff they love...i am so laughing at myself right now...just got it...little slow over here...somehow i took you literally...

BethAnne said...

Oh my goodness! I totally relate. Dont worry about eating all that stuff, no one worries about calories when you are PMSing--its like being pregnant - eat what you want and worry about the consequences later. The thing is that I dont have to be having a . to eat all that stuff at once. I can do that on any given day (and I do quite often). I know,I know, ......... pray for me.

Abby said...

hahahahahahha BEV you are CRACKING ME UP :) (i was wondering why you wanted to BE aunt flow in your first comment) ;) lol...i just love you

Shelly said...

LOL! Girl...Ben & Jerry's for me too girl. Raw cookie dough is a great one. Dunkin Doughnuts lately. Lots of sweet caffeinated drinks (which doesn't help) and hmm....pizza!

Leigh Gray said...

oh girl you are killing the dieter!!! i need to go to bed.........just so i won't eat!! hee hee

love, Leigh

Angela @ Refresh My Soul Blog said...

Yes Dear Abby! I can totally relate. My item of choice is CHOCOLATE. Really any kind will do. It is so crazy but that is what I cannot live without. I have been known to go through bags of it so I try to limit how much is in my house. And I hate to tell you this but it will help in the long run-those calories will and do catch up with you! :( I am holding about 30 pounds of them now. However, some came from those being pregnant binges too. :)

Thanks for your honest post. It is refreshing to know we are all normal and in the same boat together when aunt flow visits!
Much love,
Angela

Dionna said...

Okay. No fair posting all those images when I'm trying to decrease what I eat. Now I'm just plain salivating.

I'm Tara. said...

Oh, girlfriend...she is the WORST gues, is she not??!! I feel ya, I truly do. Okay, THESE days, I don't splurge as much as I used to, but when she speaks up about what she'd like to eat -- she loves ice cream, chips, crackers, and the ol' gal is a wino, wouldn't you know it??