tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57357866867968314552024-03-05T12:03:29.156-06:00Hemmed In"...even though you're drowning in valleys of echoes, i believe there is peace in those hills up ahead..." [k.h.]AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.comBlogger93125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-48755700224074178812010-06-07T23:54:00.003-05:002010-06-08T00:00:24.955-05:00hummus and sushii promise i'm trying to blog. i just can't seem to sit still long enough to do it.<br /><br />and i am distracted. all i can think about it hummus and sushi.<br />but not together. just separate, and equally amazing. today it's spicy, brown rice cali roll....and white bean hummus.<br /><br />tomorrow may be different. i'll let you know. <br /><br />also, my friend is out of town, and i miss her. <br /><br />airplane thoughts coming soon.AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-58677515886761537652010-05-25T13:52:00.006-05:002010-05-25T14:34:53.244-05:00oh just a lil nuggetSo I moved this past week. Not houses, but just rooms within our house. I know. Weird. I have now lived in 3 of the 4 bedrooms in our house. I feel accomplished. ;) <br /><br />One of my goals in moving rooms was that I didn't want to take anything into my new room, that I didn't LOVE. I have been on a mission to simplify my life as far as material things are concerned, and this gave me a major opportunity to chunk the junk. And, I am proud to say, minus a few items (mainly in my closet) that I convinced myself to keep, I genuinely love the space I live in. And that makes me happy. <br /><br />While cleaning out a rubbermaid storage bin, I found a whole stack of cds that appeared blank. I popped a couple in my computer only to find that they were not blank, but filled with old treasures in the form of dated music and other downloaded items. And then I found a cd labeled "word docs". I assumed it was something with all of my college papers from UNC, but I stuck it in anyways. I found some nuggets and bits from my time in Chapel Hill, but they were not at all the research papers and ridiculous book reports as I had thought. Instead, it was all of my own personal writings I had thrown my emotions into, during my "spare" time ...aka the time you say, "Forget it. I'm sick of this. I don't care if I fail my ancient cities history exam. I'm doing something fun." ...and to me, writing was fun.<br /><br />I don't have a blog post ready and this was already written....so here's a little nugget from a moment of extra-curricular exam-studying stalling. Like it. Don't like it. It's really all ok, because for the moment I was writing it, all the ancient cities were far far away and not bugging me with their statue replicas and paintings of hillsides that looked just like the ones in my backyard. <br />Sooooo, I win. (Except for the part where I failed the exam.)<br /><br />It doesn't have a title, so you can't make one up if you want. Smile.<br />(And sorry if I'm totally ruining the moment for putting part of it on Facebook. Just pretend we're not friends on there and you've never seen it.)<br />Kbye.<br /><br /><br />With just a word the darkness you erased<br />Like an artist with a muse began to paint<br />Competitors can imitate- or cast an effort to defeat <br />But the created can’t contend with what he sees<br /><br />(Unending are the reasons I adore you<br />Limitless perfection flows from your every phrase<br />Remembering each heart with every sunrise<br />Amazing grace displayed in a thousand shades)<br /><br />Beauty without boundary or border<br />In every newborn’s face- intently captured<br />Each horizon sings a melody of praise<br />Original in fact, no two the same<br /><br />(Unending are the reasons I adore you<br />Limitless perfection flows from your every phrase<br />Remembering each heart with every sunrise<br />Amazing grace displayed in a thousand shades)<br /><br />One image still remains to be desired <br />A soul that demonstrates a higher power<br />One who’s given up their own design<br />For what a sacred artist had in mindAbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-89834923812009732712010-05-14T02:03:00.000-05:002010-05-14T02:03:23.882-05:00LAMENT<object style="background-image:url(http://i4.ytimg.com/vi/cqq2hVyoNf4/hqdefault.jpg)" width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/cqq2hVyoNf4&hl=en_US&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/cqq2hVyoNf4&hl=en_US&fs=1" width="425" height="344" allowScriptAccess="never" allowFullScreen="true" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object>AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-74278431358841920252010-05-02T23:14:00.011-05:002010-05-03T13:25:44.828-05:00selfish you, or selfish mei have absolutely no idea how this is gonna come out. i'm just chewing on stuff and i'm gonna spit it out and hope it looks better in person than on the inside. <br /><br />i have been on the receiving side of some selfish behavior lately. it has taught me a lot, and not, shockingly, that the owner of the said behavior is a moron. grin. because they are not. this person actually is quite a lovely human being, with a very generous spirit, who just happens to turn inward a little too often for my liking. i will say, the majority of this person's actions have been minimally thought-out, and have occurred at seemingly (by the tone of their voice) frustrating times in their day (at least i pray so for my sanity). nevertheless, the world does not revolve around their comfort and happiness, and it is not my job to ensure that it does. (ps i love the word nevertheless. it's like somebody just got bored and decided to mash 3 words together, crossed their fingers, and somehow it worked.)<br /><br />before i cause you to become disinterested with my negative and complaining self, i'll enlighten you to my current thoughts on the topic, which are slightly <span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">less</span></span> woe-is-me, and slightly <span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">more</span></span> productive.<br /><br />recently, i had a new friend enter my life. we'll call her loretta. (grin.) loretta is the most generous, non-judgmental, warm-hearted, and welcoming person i have met in a long, long time. i'm not sure i've ever met someone whom i loved and adored every detail of while, in the same instance, learned her face and name for the first time. she entered my life completely unannounced, and has rendered me speechless on many occasions with her talent, encouragement, and vigor for all things honest. i was dumping a dose of negativity and frustration on her one day, and she said something to me that has been so profound since then in my attempts to find peaceful ground during my unbridled moments of irritation and annoyance: <br /><br />"....you know you're not actually frustrated at [selfish acting person] right? you're frustrated at yourself because you are not where you want to be, and in some ways you've chosen to allow yourself to stay there. [person's] behavior hasn't changed as long as you've known [person], so if it didn't bother you before, why would it bother you now? maybe it's good that you're frustrated because you know it means it is time to move on." <br /><br />dern. loretta got my toes. and my heart. are any of us entitled to act in a way that is demeaning or attempts to be hierarchical over another human being? no. does it happen? yes. this particular person has no idea that i have been offended in any way by things said or done pointing in my general direction. mainly because i'm too chicken to say so. but loretta is on to something. why is it, if this person has always been who they are for the amount of time i've known them, would it just now be bothering me years later? the mere musing of their behavior brings a stirring in my heart over it. and not just an "i'm annoyed" stirring. it's an unsettling feeling. that something isn't right.....inside of ME. <br /><br />God is calling me to move forward on some things that scare me. things that thrill me, but things that scare me. and that affects every other thought that passes through my heart. i am in an uncomfortable place. but we can be blessed by uncomfortable (wink) if we will allow God to have some space. aka: stepping outside of MY own selfishness, and being concerned with MY wants and perceived needs. my <span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">reacting</span></span> selfishly (whether only done secretly in my thought-life or through gossiping to others about it) does nothing but make me seem hypocritical for being upset about the very behavior that kidnapped my emotions to begin with. are we called to be doormats? no. but we are called to be servants. maybe if i was <span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">less</span></span> concerned with my feelings of how inconvenienced i feel by being treated poorly, and <span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">more</span></span> concerned with keeping the eyes of my heart focused on where God was calling me, i would stop feeling <span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">entitled</span></span> to be angry about their behavior. it's not about figuring out who or what is right in a fleeting moment of poorly weaved emotions. we are all on our own path, and it's what we allow God to do through us while on it that matters.<br /><br />comic relief: for instance, like the fact that i am trying to be upset that our internet isn't working, when in fact, we cancelled our cable and internet months ago, and just so happen to be close enough to the neighbors to pick up their signal. it's not my fault they gave us the password and permission to use it. it is my fault that i act FIVE about it when it doesn't work. <br /><br />my mind is tiring.....am i excusing every selfish act done or word spoken by another person towards you or i? no. sometimes people <span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">act</span></span> like <span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">morons</span></span> and you just call a spade a spade. but what i am saying, as is with most things, it is your reaction that determines the effectual product that will be seen in your life because of it.<br /><br />i've been mulling over lots of things recently...two of them being hypocrisy and pride-what causes them, and how they affect us. so i'll leave you with the last thoughts i had about them today as i was brainstorming and writing in the rain. <br />i love ya'll..nashville is a mess. hope you're staying dry.<br /><br /><br /><br />[It’s the height of hypocrisy<br />This mountain where our sorrow sleeps<br />Awakened by the mourning of our own mediocrity<br />We come crashing to the valley on our weakened knees<br />Searching for pieces of regret among our selfish debris<br />Grace reassembles gently, our muddled sense of hope<br />As we all travel on the narrow road home]AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-11372049254022638692010-04-28T16:07:00.000-05:002010-04-28T18:32:08.067-05:00confessions and color strokes[ok, first let me say, my big face is plastered in my header. i'm aware, and i'm sure it's just a phase. so just go with it.]<br /><br />i was thinking today about blogging, and immediately had the urge to change my background, bloggy-accessories, etc., and then i started thinking about this pattern i have. i have been a bad blogger. i am the first to admit it. it wasn't always this way, but at least for the last year (ahem, 2 years) i have shamelessly worn the banner of "oh yeah that's abby, she is a blogger, well, sort of". no "awww honey" 's necessary...i know it, and i claim it. grin. (and it's totally fine and in reality i have no bad feelings about not blogging, but it goes with my post so just hush. mmm hmm.) <br /><br />every time i try to come back, repent of my horrible non-blogging tendencies, recommit myself to the blogging community, and promise to write more often than i wash my hair (which if you know me <span style="font-style:italic;">shouldn't</span> be a hard thing because you know it is not often), i feel the need to re-vamp and give my blog a background makeover. why is that? when most of the time the one i have will suffice for a blogger with mediocrity at the forefront of my online attendance patterns. (wow i worked so hard to used "mediocrity" right in that sentence.)<br /><br />**i also feel the need to add that i am typing this while listening to Taio Cruz/Ludacris-Break Your Heart. "i'm only gonna break break your break break your heart." how fitting. cracking self up.**<br /><br />while pondering this tendency of having to make everything new and start over, i realized this same pattern in another area of my life-journaling. again, if you know me, you know i'm a huge journal keeper with a large addiction to buying new ones--a habit that my wallet contents mourn over almost weekly. i am thrilled by the prospect of the thoughts and musings i will one day record on the pages of every new rectangle journey-keeper (that made me think of trapper-keepers, holla). and for the sake of creativity, i will gladly remain poor for the opportunity to discover something new about myself when my pen hits the pages of a freshly cracked paper spine. rarely do i actually finish an entire journal cover to cover because i can't stand the thought of the blankness calling to me from the (at least) 5 blank-ones i have stocked on my shelf in any given moment or season.<br /><br />so the point. i have this need to "fix" things. i've always been a fixer. i'd call it a curse for the guilt it causes me when i can't fix the highlighted task in front of me (be it mine or for someone else), <span style="font-style:italic;">but</span> it is also often the trait in me that spurs me on to help others when i see something that i know i <span style="font-style:italic;">can</span> help with. so i'll claim it and pray for peace when it's not mine to fix. whenever i start over with a new season, or just a new out-look on something in general, i tend to feel like i have to erase or cover-up the past by re-writing the present. revamping the current, to make up for inconsistencies in my previous stride. i feel like if i completely start over (new journal, new blog page) it's as if the former never existed. the problem with that? <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">every</span> bit of who i am is a direct correlation of where i've been. the step i was just on. the issue i just dealt with, (or am currently dealing with). it is <span style="font-style:italic;">ALL</span> a part of me. and the fact that the bumps are allowed, helps me perceive that they can be intentional points of learning, possibly moments of changing direction, but mainly exist to strengthen and grow me from my present point into a future purpose or position, hopefully with more depth and meaning than the last.<br /><br />to erase everything that was, is to discredit the work it took to get you there. and by george, life is hard enough not to give credit where credit is due for the things that we walk through and overcome with God's help. and this is where i insert a quote of awesomeness sent my way by<a href="http://travelingtheroadhome.blogspot.com/"> this girl</a> on a day whose timing could not have been more perfectly orchestrated.<br /><br />[If your life was like a painting,the strokes that are being added to the canvas today may not make much sense when viewed alone. However, God doesn't waste any strokes...for He sees the final picture...You may think the color being used today is too gray...[but] the time will come when you will see that the meaning of the painting would be weakened if the gray strokes were not included in the exact places they appear.] ~anonymous<br /><br />(and i hope she won't mind that i'm about to steal her words of encouragement to me to also share with you.) gray in one spot on a painting could look like a blob, whereas in a carefully placed spot, it adds depth and sets off something vitally important to the point of the painting. this "gray" is being carefully stroked into the exact place it needs to be, so that it brings your future - the very masterpiece of your life - to light.<br />(and yes, she is brilliant)<br /><br />because i'm a nerd and like to say things like "in conclusion" this is where i'll end. <br />in conclusion, i'm in a gray spot. <br />and yes i started a new journal. <br />and yes i changed my blog. again. <br />but i'm learning to embrace <span style="font-style:italic;">this </span>gray spot for all it's worth, and see the beauty in every tiny curve and bend in it's stroke.<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/356/D150836D032265D9ADCADA39AB4D7293.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-91322823154809940562010-04-26T22:27:00.001-05:002010-04-26T22:41:35.335-05:00trees and anonymitythere is so much going on in my heart and mind that were i to start typing, i fear you would be sucked into "TMI" oblivion and never return. so i'll refrain, and just talk about trees.<br /><br />[A century ago, a few fragile seeds fell upon rocky soil. Through drought and flood, they clung tightly to earth, stubbornly stretching toward the heavens. Today, silver maple, post oak, and black walnut trees surround our home like tall, loyal sentinels. Their intricate, mingled root systems support the round below...<br /><br />...Bursting with shades of green, the leaves dance in the breeze. Winter's reduction is coming, but that does not halt the dance. Trees celebrate the moment, temporary though it is. In the spring, their new growth sings of hope. Their lush green offers peace in the summer. In the fall, their colorful collages inspire creativity. And in their emptiness, trees grace the winter with silent elegance...<br /><br />...What the plenty of summer hides, the nakedness of winter reveals: infrastructure. Fullness often distracts from foundations. But in the stillness of winter, the trees' true strength is unveiled...A tree's posture is all-open, like arms ready for an embrace. So very vulnerable, yet so very strong. I find the display quieting and full of grace. <br /><br />In winter, are the trees bare? yes.<br />In winter, are the trees barren? no. <br />Life still is.<br /><br />...In spiritual winters, our fullness is thinned so that, undistracted by our giftings, we can focus upon our character. In the absence of anything to measure, we are left with nothing to stare at except for our foundation. Risking inspection, we begin to examine the motivations that support our deeds, the attitudes that influence our words, the ded wood otherwise hidden beneath our busyness. Then a life-changing transition occurs as we move from resistance through repentance to the place of rest. With gratitude, we simply abide...<br /><br />In winter are we bare? yes.<br />In winter are we barren? no.<br />True life still is.<br /><br />The Father's work in us does not sleep--though in spiritual winters he retracts all advertisement. And when he does so, he is purifying our faith, strengthening our character, conserving our energy, and preparing us for the future. <br />The sleep days of winter hide us so that the seductive days of summer will not ruin us.<br /><br />...Hidden hopes. Hidden dreams. Hidden gifts. All of us are acquainted with chapters in life when our visible fruitfulness is pruned back, our previously praiseworthy strengths become dormant, and our abilities are unnoticed by the watching world. Like a flower whose budding glory is covered up by we leaves, we sense the weight of hiddenness in our hearts and whisper, "I have so much more to give and be."<br /><br />But there is One who can see the beauty of that covered, smothered flower. And, mysteriously, His delight in that beauty is not diminished by its leafy camouflage. Neither would his pleasure be amplified by the flower's visibility...Obedience to this God who appreciates the visible and invisible equally has led many truly great souls into long seasons of anonymity. Some emerged from obscurity into eminence. Others remained relatively unknown. All agreed that God never wastes anyone's time.<br /><br />Whether we enter hiddenness deliberately (as in pursuing as education or relocating with a new job) or unwillingly (as in an extended illness or in grief following the loss of a loved one), we can spend years feeling that the greatest part of us is submerged in the unseen, as though others can only see the tip of the ice-berg of who we really are. <br /><br />Through chattering teeth, arctic scientists inform us that only one-eighth to one-tenth of an iceberg is visible. As much as 90% is submerged in the unseen. Because of their enormous mass, with that proportion, icebergs are virtually indestructible.<br /><br />The most influential life in all of history reflected the iceberg equation. Ninety percent of his life on earth was spent in obscurity. Ten percent of his earthly life was spent in the public eye. And all of his life was, and still is. absolutely indestructible.]<br /><br />taken from "Anonymous" by Alicia Britt Chole<br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/356/D150836D032265D9ADCADA39AB4D7293.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-78285779017495879972010-03-18T14:56:00.000-05:002010-03-18T15:07:53.032-05:00what are you a slave to?t<span style="font-style:italic;">thoughts about some things coming soon...but for now...</span><br /><br />Philippians 2 (The Message)<br /><br />He Took on the Status of a Slave<br /><br /> 1-4If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.<br /><br /> 5-8Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn't think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn't claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.<br /><br /> 9-11Because of that obedience, God lifted him high and honored him far beyond anyone or anything, ever, so that all created beings in heaven and on earth—even those long ago dead and buried—will bow in worship before this Jesus Christ, and call out in praise that he is the Master of all, to the glorious honor of God the Father.<br /><br />_________________________<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">what are you a slave to? if it's anything other than Christ, and His freedom, we have to surrender that bondage over to Him so we can live worthy of the calling we have received. (ephesians 4:1) we can not serve two masters. (matthew 6:24) <br />no Judas kiss is too much for Christ to handle. He deserves more than our betrayal, and we are worth more than our inconsistencies allow us to be. let's get free, how bout? <br /><br />back soon :)</span><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/356/D150836D032265D9ADCADA39AB4D7293.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-31345875994680654222010-01-25T14:53:00.000-06:002010-01-25T14:58:18.771-06:00re-post: disturb mei have posted part of this before...but it has just been on my heart again.<br />so if you've already seen it....<br />......um, i guess you may leave. :)<br /><br /><br />disturb me for the one whose given up <br />for the one who’s perseverance has run out <br />disturb me for the heart that knows no love <br />that looks everywhere else to find their worth <br /><br />disturb me for the one who lives in chains <br />for the one who’s captive in the prison of their shame <br />disturb me as a former prisoner of despair <br />whose warden was her own jealousy and fear <br /><br />*burden me so I can see your heart <br />that my hunger might be for something more <br />teach me how to serve <br />with words of grace and hands of love <br />i long to feel the dust around your feet <br />disturb me<br /><br />disturb me in the places of my heart<br />that have hardened, become numb to life<br />disturb me out of comfort zones<br />remind me of the passion with which I once burned<br /><br />disturb my happiness<br />that I may seek joy in you instead<br />disturb my busyness and noise<br />let your whispers be my guiding voice<br /><br />*burden me so I can see your heart <br />that my hunger might be for something more <br />teach me how to serve <br />with words of grace and hands of love <br />i long to feel the dust around your feet <br />disturb me <br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/356/D150836D032265D9ADCADA39AB4D7293.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-6239394473032825562009-10-14T16:50:00.000-05:002009-10-17T17:46:16.161-05:00a random hiwhat up. i don't have anything brilliant to say (ha, hardly ever ;) ) but i just thought i'd put up something cause i just realized it's already been a month since i posted. and i wasn't even having withdrawals. lame. worst blogger ever. <br /><br />just wanted to talk for a second about the love of Jesus. i have no notes or outline in a word document (not that i ever do, *laughs nervously) so i'm just gonna type. and go with whatever comes out. i have no idea how long or how short this will be, so you're welcome to stay as long as you'd like. ;)<br /><br />what a sweet and wonderful and overwhelming and heart-wrenching thing it is that we get to experience the greatest love ever known to man. and if we choose, we get to do so every. single. day. are ya'll aware (preaching to myself) that we get God's best every day? there is never a day that He wakes up tired and says, "ugh i'm so over this-you are clearly not getting it". well, first of all he never sleeps. [self-diagnosed insomniac.] i love the way that "The Shack" (not trying to open a discussion on this book. *grin.) author ponders God's perspective of us "getting it right". that He doesn't necessarily sit up there and hang His head every time we screw up (although we certainly cause Him disappointment among a flood of other emotions), but the beauty of His angle is the all-knowing power that He possesses. so while He knows we're going to screw up, and probably even exactly how, maybe He also knows the exact "day" (though He doesn't measure time in the same way we do) that will be the day we beat that addiction. the day we choose to no longer be a child of the world. the day we hear the holy spirit convicting us of something and instead of blowing it off, we actually listen. actually FLEE temptation instead of seeing how close we can get without touching it. the day we choose to live in the power He has given us-the SAME power that raised Christ from the dead, instead of relying on our own strength which will always come up short. he is in our past of screw-ups. he is in our present moment of despair and frustrations at ourself and others. but He is also in the future. waiting. anticipating our arrival in a place of complete and utter perfection. life as it was intended to be. longing for the day that His inheritance will be received-and in case no one has told you, that's you. and that's me. we are the inheritance of the KING OF KINGS and LORD OF LORDS. of the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE. the MAKER OF HEAVEN AND EARTH. HE who brings the waves to a halt, and calls forth flowers from the ground in spring. The GOD who holds all the waters of the earth in the palm (that's just one) of His hand, yet goes out of His way to get in the details of your day to bless you. to bless me. THAT GUY wants you. HE wants me. so i guess the question is, do we want Him back? <br />after a weekend of being poured into, i am so aware of the poverty of my spirit that were it not for grace, i think we'd all dig our own graves. what a mess i am, and what a beautiful mess Jesus is and will make me if i let Him. i am just fascinated that God maintains His love for me right smack dab in the middle of my mistakes. the very moment i choose to be a screw-up, He still could not love me more. i love how He takes our faults, errors, inaccuracies, and conscious moments of stupidity--what would otherwise ruin us--and USES it. grows us in it. blesses others with it. and teaches us about Himself if we will stand to hear it. and when you are flat on your face with no where but "up" to look, you GLADLY stand to hear it. you humbly welcome it, and pray that something solidifies the mush of understanding we perceive life through, enough to be CHANGED by it. <br /><br />Lord, have mercy. thank you for loving me. for loving me SO scandalously that there is not one thing on this earth to compare it to. for going out of your way to reshape my heart and mind to understand you. to want you. to be changed by you. Lord Jesus i pray you would make me want you more than anything. more than the touch or security of another human being-sister, mentor, friend, or romance-more than all the riches of the world. more than the life you have blessed me to live, i pray You would be my life. help me understand you better. help me take my every thought captive to you. teach me what it means to live in freedom that is not bound by any incompetence or inability on my part. may i rely on you for every bit of what i need. i know you love me. help me live like i know it. oh, to not be caged or restricted by my own insecurities and fears-but to walk humbly in the confidence of whose i am. i love you. i want to love you so much better.<br />i believe, Father. aware or unaware, help my unbelief. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />kbye.<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/356/D150836D032265D9ADCADA39AB4D7293.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-62042918896914492862009-09-18T16:00:00.000-05:002009-09-26T09:25:09.958-05:00Cardboard HarborSo I wrote this song. Well, I wrote the lyrics to a potential song. It is currently melody-less…and might remain so forever depending on the depth of my creativity in the days to come. (Which considering the date on my last blog post--we’re not even going there—might remain pretty shallow.) Regardless, I was thinking of this unfinished ‘thing’, if you will, recently and it sort of took on a new dimension for me in relation to my spiritual life. <br /><br />Lets be honest, the words were actually written in response to my emotions concerning a certain “person” --another subject we will not be getting into. Ha. The basic gist of my infrequently and annoyingly unpredictable emotions is that no matter where the blame may lie, at the conclusion of my interaction with this person, I was awakened to a reality I thought would never exist, and when it in fact did, it temporarily suffocated my every hope and thought. I found I had allowed myself to be in a place that once (and for some time) seemed so completely stable, trustworthy, and safe, that to question it at the time would have been to deny the existence of one of the greatest blessings of fellowship my heart had ever known; yet in the end, the tangible absence of such was now slowly descending and deteriorating around me, within me, and as I was humbled I found-partially because of me. I had not the eyes to recognize any part of its harmful or destructive (not abusive in any way, but more of a suppressing of myself) nature until I found myself sitting in an empty space where human arms had once held me up. I was alone. And I was quite aware of it. I am literally shuddering at the memory of those moments of realization, of what I knew I had lost, and how I thought I couldn’t survive without it.<br /><br />I remember thinking my tear ducts were hooked up to some imaginary water fountain and someone really mean had turned it on “high”. I remember thinking “oh THATs what all the lyrics to those songs I always thought were so cheesy actually meant” (“how am I supposed to breathe with no air” ….hahahaha KIDDING…I did feel that way sometimes, but I’m currently just being dramatic. ☺ Humor me.) I remember not wanting to get out of bed because I thought there was no way I could be happy, void of someone who held such significance in my heart and in my ability to believe in myself and the person I wanted to become. Being an introvert, I tend to thrive on quiet moments by myself-but not when they are (or seemingly so) my only option. And despite my love for those pockets of peaceful reflection, I found myself drowning in the silence of a million words and stanzas; only, I could find not one to fully describe the depth to which I felt my foundation was sinking. How did I become SO lost within what I had found, that when it was over, I found I had in fact lost myself? Never in my life had I had issues knowing who I was. (Now, insecurity and self esteem are another story, but for this particular moment I’m not talking about my actual identity in Christ.) <br /><br />I never understood certain parts of the movie Runaway Bride until I realized that it now was I who didn’t know how I liked my “eggs” cooked. And I totally got it. I was in a complete frenzy of wordless speeches and halting dreams. I was humbled. Flattened. Stripped of every safety net within my reach. Left with so many questions I didn’t know how or where to begin. Sent into a desert place. AGAIN. And I was NOT happy about it. And so I began a sort of rebirth/reinventing/re-establishing of who I was, and what my purpose was. And I started taking mental notes: I DO like banana popsicles. I do NOT like Indian food. I am a jeans and a white t-shirt kind of girl. But I have cool boots and sometimes I like to wear those too. And so it began. Trivial at first, but at the heart of what was happening, I was being drawn back in to the source of my very existence. The quiet presence that gave me the strength to get up in the morning and promised me I’d have what I needed to get through THAT day. The One that promised me if I’d trust the handfuls of the broken pieces, even the secret ones I tried to put back together myself, that HE would create something, and birth something I wouldn’t believe even if HE told me (Hab. 1:5). <br /><br />In the so called “chorus” of this melodically unfinished song, I talk about life as living in a harbor, and how we create (or think we are creating) a space of comfort. A place that feels homey, that we decorate with memories and pack tightly with the trust of those who have led us to such a haven of existence. But this harbor, this space that I allowed to be created in my heart and mind, and what I clung to so dearly as my security and well-being, I discovered was actually made of cardboard. A structure that appears completely capable of holding valuables and keeping them intact in their original form. But have you ever seen what happens to cardboard when it gets wet? (It stinks for one thing.) Immediately the very fibers of strength that hold together such a transportable mass become incapacitated, and depending on the weight of that which it holds, will weaken in structure—more than likely causing it’s contents to fall into a deranged mess. A cardboard harbor. (Oxymoron anyone?)<br /><br />I actually looked up the word harbor before writing this post, and thanks to “dictionary.com” this is what I found:<br /><br />HARBOR: “a part of a body of water along the shore deep enough for anchoring a ship….any place of SHELTER or REFUGE…(v) to conceal…hide…maintain”<br /><br />Bingo. Red Flags everywhere. What exactly was I anchoring my trust, my love, my time, my energy, my thoughts, my efforts, my dreams and desires to? Something, someone who, at the end of the day, was no more secure than me. Whose character shined so bright for a time that it overshadowed a looming frailty and imperfections within that I had not the ability to heal.<br /> <br />I HID within the tangible feeling of someone holding me, instead of hiding in the shadow of the Almighty (Psalm 91:1). <br />My insecurity found HOPE in a vanishing opinion instead of resting in the knowledge that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). <br />I sought SECURITY for my future in a shelter made of temporary things instead of remembering that I am completely HEMMED IN to a plan made just for me (Psalm 139:5). <br />I tested the waters of purity and gave my whole heart to something unsure instead of sinking in to a reality that I have access to EVERY PROMISE God offers me in Christ(Psalm 145:13, 2 Corinthians 1:20, 2 Corinthians 7:1).<br /><br />Being humbled HURTS. It’s embarrassing, even if only between you and the Lord your God. Initially it makes you want to hang your head. But you know what? It can also be the biggest blessing of your life. And on top of that, we are called to be humble (Ephesians 4:2), to seek humility (Zeph 2:3), and walk humbly with our God (Micah 6:8). God esteems the humble and blesses them with grace (James 4:6; 1 Peter 5:5; Isaiah 66:2). <br /><br />This has been a hard season of life for me—to accept that God has allowed a gift to be given to me, and then taken away. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I would much rather learn to stay humbled before Him, completely aware of, and dependent upon his grace and goodness in my life so that He gets every stinkin’ ounce of the GLORY, and EVERY accolade for the accomplishments in my life (Isaiah 26:12). <br /><br />I don’t know what the future holds, but I know WHO holds my future. (Jer 29:11)<br />I don’t know what circumstances I will face tomorrow, but when they come HE will give me wisdom. (Psalm 51:6; Proverbs 2:6)<br />I am completely incapable of living in purity and doing everything in this life “correctly”, but I know where my help comes from and the heart from which grace flows. (Psalm 121:2)<br />I can choose bitterness or I can daily choose to delight in my Jesus and learn to savor knowledge and understanding from Him. (Proverbs 2:6)<br /><br />I pray for us all that we will choose to rely on our good God to sustain, maintain, and protect our hearts, for HE is our only TRUE source of security, and the PUREST form of LOVE we could experience. He is the only one whose heart is completely FOR us and whose work in us doesn’t just keep us intact, but if we allow it, makes us better. He who is completely capable takes our mess, and turns our worth and significance into something eternal and everlasting. <br />I pray that we all love Him a little more with the arrival of every sunrise.<br /><br />And just for the record, I like my eggs scrambled.<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/356/D150836D032265D9ADCADA39AB4D7293.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-91923645271961331012009-04-14T11:59:00.001-05:002009-04-14T12:14:41.340-05:00Something to Hold You OverI promise I'm alive. I just haven't had the chance to breathe in the last couple of months. :) I love my job, but I think I've had a total of 2 days off since February (not counting a few Easter days). Not Cool. So of course I have a hundred million things to write about and only a hundred millionths of a second to write about them. But something new is coming. And in the meantime, you can ooo and ahhhh with me over my new nephew (first grandchild on both sides) that was born this past thursday. Precious. Haven't met him yet. Dying to. Get to in 16 days. :)<br /><br />Luke Russell Hinton<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC_VVyGUWUWI3njgSbNPBHtGfr57LLDSRZJh5Of6OOWRiP-z-NqeuEG4dZxTTHf3cuozD1Np9PYf6Sy_U51k_fY4-41nX-Dl_WT6I08kV8tmIR-RpJbl36vwx-VgRfI_0EXFH48JbnpIY/s1600-h/DSC_0006.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC_VVyGUWUWI3njgSbNPBHtGfr57LLDSRZJh5Of6OOWRiP-z-NqeuEG4dZxTTHf3cuozD1Np9PYf6Sy_U51k_fY4-41nX-Dl_WT6I08kV8tmIR-RpJbl36vwx-VgRfI_0EXFH48JbnpIY/s320/DSC_0006.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324593749475287522" /></a><br /><br />No time for a bath...need pictures first. :)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX8KaO53A9_vwDHLmQAWQDbT-fGVvoyySz-E3zMw5AK_mKyCcI5ZLx_9JStBJONEa6ObSkDJmBvRt4alT9aCHtiRWeHga3f8U-hf_edSaLd8w5RNAfNQsox2Andyq_rJUF6xQS6fM0rs0/s1600-h/DSC_0019.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX8KaO53A9_vwDHLmQAWQDbT-fGVvoyySz-E3zMw5AK_mKyCcI5ZLx_9JStBJONEa6ObSkDJmBvRt4alT9aCHtiRWeHga3f8U-hf_edSaLd8w5RNAfNQsox2Andyq_rJUF6xQS6fM0rs0/s320/DSC_0019.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324594016417968642" /></a><br /><br />Ahh, much better. :)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCLYgPUKYWw4hiHpUN3fGX_zuHVKeHcF4W1MqaEqenoEYkayPvMg4QZbR7nuro8ZoKSlH4dB6E6f2R5L3c_Gnbb2LJ-GPAdTBomtILe1539o4ffm-SGnjdyFvDrh5_aocVeyPix9iES08/s1600-h/DSC_0065a.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCLYgPUKYWw4hiHpUN3fGX_zuHVKeHcF4W1MqaEqenoEYkayPvMg4QZbR7nuro8ZoKSlH4dB6E6f2R5L3c_Gnbb2LJ-GPAdTBomtILe1539o4ffm-SGnjdyFvDrh5_aocVeyPix9iES08/s320/DSC_0065a.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324594320785437714" /></a><br /><br />That's right...Carolina IS #1.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihmifqskS8UEwStEnNgcjylQbDN0tziP0IeFQUgSB_-bqU-91XMS4DKiimQFIydoKwlishiFc74SZPj3y_g-zkP-ukJoZMmfDXJpBCe6Bh04heO1-7rmFbHgLOqahm9bj7apuheRp9dUk/s1600-h/DSC_0064a.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihmifqskS8UEwStEnNgcjylQbDN0tziP0IeFQUgSB_-bqU-91XMS4DKiimQFIydoKwlishiFc74SZPj3y_g-zkP-ukJoZMmfDXJpBCe6Bh04heO1-7rmFbHgLOqahm9bj7apuheRp9dUk/s320/DSC_0064a.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324594554426973538" /></a><br /><br />So tiny with my daddy.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicMIiwzC4ncY4L63s53f_B5Mc6vj8lsw8hsqyXPrU02DwQaKQYaJ0FwsDnkHnNGXR1vdgGgHNrW_y_aNdFroR51lHywJzUU3Et97g1bGCchkq3FUDIKM-yIJ3GGTsDOTy7SXgAq8Sf5J8/s1600-h/DSC01130.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicMIiwzC4ncY4L63s53f_B5Mc6vj8lsw8hsqyXPrU02DwQaKQYaJ0FwsDnkHnNGXR1vdgGgHNrW_y_aNdFroR51lHywJzUU3Et97g1bGCchkq3FUDIKM-yIJ3GGTsDOTy7SXgAq8Sf5J8/s320/DSC01130.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324594777772644306" /></a><br /><br />So cuddly.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4F1nVkzZ1sLGN5MPYL6Cwq6AC7gqmnjXzteY-TGDZXijbQpmpZqAtc4V5ns4WO_JpEaGlLD5LR_-SLYmwt4b2YKQd4eXNFlKeGO7Foe70PCoQ5jpEyW03HOvuFRp6RBi2cmTfshNRVI8/s1600-h/DSC01132.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4F1nVkzZ1sLGN5MPYL6Cwq6AC7gqmnjXzteY-TGDZXijbQpmpZqAtc4V5ns4WO_JpEaGlLD5LR_-SLYmwt4b2YKQd4eXNFlKeGO7Foe70PCoQ5jpEyW03HOvuFRp6RBi2cmTfshNRVI8/s320/DSC01132.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324594945841284210" /></a><br /><br />My favorite.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeHK7pw8m9miBzwZ5OO5xIHIW0cs48Bp7nz_FIhR5jjxKa_RRxV88dMoqubvD2ekLj0O5HZIMlWFSS9LYn1oDWqve3dtDdoj5BqwAZZe_Hlx2aK-TbJy7UYOvnVQ2n_-cjcKHdMjfZV5Y/s1600-h/DSC_0087.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeHK7pw8m9miBzwZ5OO5xIHIW0cs48Bp7nz_FIhR5jjxKa_RRxV88dMoqubvD2ekLj0O5HZIMlWFSS9LYn1oDWqve3dtDdoj5BqwAZZe_Hlx2aK-TbJy7UYOvnVQ2n_-cjcKHdMjfZV5Y/s320/DSC_0087.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324595165755768194" /></a><br /><br />Me and mommy.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMLTPVHRS_m0b2OY2OIbsmSqS6zZE_mfbRze6j_BkW7CH5RZqz8oCdA5fIlzPEMkIvrFPWJOvJg1Jv6PjrbZG3h0tU5G-QjWtbsaSgaukAqRmuyMNtIZw4Iq1ZZoRO3nbROMIFOa6yhhw/s1600-h/lukedowney.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMLTPVHRS_m0b2OY2OIbsmSqS6zZE_mfbRze6j_BkW7CH5RZqz8oCdA5fIlzPEMkIvrFPWJOvJg1Jv6PjrbZG3h0tU5G-QjWtbsaSgaukAqRmuyMNtIZw4Iq1ZZoRO3nbROMIFOa6yhhw/s320/lukedowney.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324595320856925314" /></a><br /><br />Sweet.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEityYxXkntmu3YFXHr-u7gAx9DWMhnMT-AkWECWOJ9ALytE8cz91AoDqc4JR9HzJ_6BlZ0gVTOPW-RfojpPB4ctAEylQlK1oQG3byWuxQZJY8Q-wzxG5Ln_D8b_D5h3vbXKEKLxOWLZ6TA/s1600-h/DSC_0079.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEityYxXkntmu3YFXHr-u7gAx9DWMhnMT-AkWECWOJ9ALytE8cz91AoDqc4JR9HzJ_6BlZ0gVTOPW-RfojpPB4ctAEylQlK1oQG3byWuxQZJY8Q-wzxG5Ln_D8b_D5h3vbXKEKLxOWLZ6TA/s320/DSC_0079.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324595547891928962" /></a><br /><br />Happy Family :)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg68Grr80dv9SX9wsugd68CZabtsbtSwklgWkDNEjnlbdv-EDuye_aX_qwl1tF5WEfU_UweLhFu8b_skarjBgE2RJaUb8I6hjvXnMIJaFzMViHYwAtHqq3LpaMxg7G_gv6XgJ40dziM6AM/s1600-h/DSC_0073.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg68Grr80dv9SX9wsugd68CZabtsbtSwklgWkDNEjnlbdv-EDuye_aX_qwl1tF5WEfU_UweLhFu8b_skarjBgE2RJaUb8I6hjvXnMIJaFzMViHYwAtHqq3LpaMxg7G_gv6XgJ40dziM6AM/s320/DSC_0073.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324595712856754930" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/356/D150836D032265D9ADCADA39AB4D7293.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-17934862376302212652009-02-19T01:23:00.000-06:002009-02-19T01:24:17.360-06:00The Presence of Greatness{“Greatness or pre-eminence is a concept heavily dependent on a person's perspective and biases. The term can be used to emphasize perceived superiority of a person or thing.” - www.wikipedia.com}<br /><br />{"Most of the trouble in this world is caused by people who want to be important." T.S. Eliot}<br /><br />I have been pondering the subject of greatness for a while now. <br />What does it mean to be great? <br />Why do people strive for greatness? <br />Assuming we have an answer to the first question, how do you know if you even possess the qualities necessary to attempt greatness? <br /><br />Because greatness, much like beauty, often lies in the eyes of the beholder, this presents a whole new set of questions. <br />To whom do you wish to be perceived as great? <br />Are those who are the object of your desired proclamation of greatness, also deemed great in other’s eyes? Or just yours?<br />What are you hoping to achieve when you have successfully acquired the label of “greatness” to your societal resume? <br /><br />I think everybody wants to be great in some way. Most people strive to be great in at least one area—to look great, feel great, be great at their job, or work at a certain characteristic until the word in question can be applied to it as well—great listener, great servant, great teacher, great artist, great musician, etc. We even apply the word to temporary items like “that piece of cake was so great”, or “they have great coffee—the best”. <br />What is so appealing about the word GREAT? At some point in history this word has been applied to people in the human race in such a way that gives us a longing to also be placed in a category with a similar form of recognition. What people come to mind when you think of the word great? Martin Luther King? Abraham Lincoln? Rosa Parks? Albert Einstein? George Washington? Alexander the GREAT? Brad Pitt? HAHA. Jk…he and I are going to have words one day. With the exclusion of the last one, these people (according to my yahoo search) are all considered great people in history in some way-Inventors, presidents, those who stood up for rights, and those who just seemed to encumber the word great for nearly it’s entire meaning. (And if you are a large Brad Pitt fan, I must clarify that I, myself, am not saying that he isn’t great by someone else’s standards--movie critics? Angelina?—lol I’m stopping. He just doesn’t fit for this post….but no hard feelings. ☺ )<br /><br />So what would the definition of greatness be as it pertains to each individual and their ability to achieve the essence of it, without seeking to contort themselves into something or somebody that they weren’t created to be, just to win the label of such among a group of peers or those whose opinions they desire?<br />In my pondering this question over the last few weeks, I have come to several conclusions. In the presence of greatness, you can't help but be inspired to be great yourself. Because greatness is not condemning or belittling, it doesn't call you out on your mistakes or try to embarrass you in front of your peers. Greatness doesn't try to one-up his friends, or intentionally make anyone jealous, because greatness understands that the very qualities that make it "great" are not natural in their mortal self, but are in fact gifted and meant to be shared for the purpose of inspiring, for building up, for expanding happiness, starting a revolution of sorts inside each individual heart. Those who are able to possess the quality of greatness do so while, in my opinion, also fully encompassing humility. Without the combined product of greatness AND humility, I would have to ask if a person who only grasped the first of those, indeed was wholly that, or if everything in his/her life that pointed to the manufacture of such a quality was lost in the absence of the second. I guess this depends on your definition of both greatness and humility, but I seem to think that without the latter, one could be perceived as somewhat of a gloat, only seeking the attention that his greatness produced rather than seeking to be great for a higher purpose and one that benefitted others above, or at least in addition to, himself.<br />So based on my opinions, if greatness and humility are equal parts of a whole, then the simple equation can be made that greatness=humility. In which case, there is no longer a need to struggle through history to find the best example of one such case. His name is Jesus. <br />I was reading some articles on Wikipedia about “great” and “heroic” men, and stumbled across an article by Thomas Carlyle. In one part of his work he was discussing a Thibeten people group and their particular beliefs about the divine and it’s relation to great men on earth. Here is a short excerpt that sort of sums up their idea:<br /><br />[“They have their belief, these poor Thibet people, that Providence sends down always an Incarnation of Himself into every generation. At bottom some belief in a kind of Pope! At bottom still better, belief that there is a Greatest Man; that he is discoverable; that, once discovered, we ought to treat him with an obedience which knows no bounds! …the ‘discoverability’ is the only error here.”]<br />Well they were right about one thing. There is a Greatest Man, and He is discoverable. Where they have sadly missed out is in the “once [he is] discovered” part. Oh the many ways that even those of us who know Him, miss Him on a daily basis. But that is another day’s topic. Jesus is arguably the most accessible man on the planet, yet in our complicated and distracted minds, we make it appear as if He’s the farthest thing from us. The other interesting point that the Thibet people seem to be spot-on about is that this great man they deem discoverable, yet undiscovered in their minds, should be treated “with an obedience which knows no bounds!” They are unaware that the object of their affections already exist, yet they have a better understanding on how he is to be treated when found than most of us are able to grasp, and keep, as faithful followers of Him.<br /><br />I pulled another quote from this same article that is as equally resounding to me: <br />[“One comfort is, that Great Men, taken up in any way, are profitable company. We cannot look, however imperfectly, upon a great man, without gaining something by him. He is the living light-fountain, which it is good and pleasant to be near. The light which enlightens, which has enlightened the darkness of the world; and this not as a kindled lamp only, but rather as a natural luminary shining by the gift of Heaven; a flowing light-fountain, as I say, of native original insight, of manhood and heroic nobleness; -- in whose radiance all souls feel that it is well with them.”]<br /><br />Though Carlyle is speaking of great men throughout history (not intending to represent Christ in his explanation), I think you can see there is quite an exact depiction of our Savior’s essence described in what was he is suggesting these “great” mortal beings somehow possess. For, if looked upon with understanding eyes (be they literal or of the heart) one cannot dismiss the qualities of Christ that we indeed gain from if we allow ourselves to be influenced by Him, simply by being the presence of our heavenly Father. <br />“…He is the living light-fountain….good and pleasant…light which enlightens, which has enlightened the darkness of the world…natural luminary…gift of heaven…in whose radiance all souls feel that it is well with them.”<br /><br />Let’s look back to some of our original questions:<br />What does it mean to be great? <br />Why do people strive for greatness? <br />Assuming we have an answer to the first question, how do you know if you even possess the qualities necessary to attempt greatness? <br /><br />By worldly standards, there are all manner of opinions about what greatness is and represents and how we are to go about obtaining those qualities to achieve such a status. But for those of us who know Christ personally, maybe the longing inside us to be great is that of our spirit wanting to know and be connected more deeply to the light of Christ. To grow, to learn, to be drawn in closer to Him and told the secrets of heaven. We are urged by Paul in 1 Peter 2:12 as aliens and strangers in the world to live our lives in a way that others “may see your good deeds and glorify God”. Most of us have a natural, normal desire to be successful in worldly terms-in our human bodies-because everybody likes an accolade or a good pat on the back. And we should support and encourage each other in our attempts to grow as people in the world. The trick is to not let our normal desire to find acceptance, love, and praise in others, overshadow our very purposeful desire to be closer, know more deeply, and point others toward God. To continue being, as you’ve probably heard 100 times over, IN the world but not OF it. We have been blessed with gifts far exceeding what any of us deserve--gifts meant to edify the body as a whole unit, so the unit can work with one purpose. The better we each are at our gifts, the better the body works, and the better we are at accomplishing the work of God’s kingdom together. [“There is one body and one spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called—one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” Ephesians 4:4-6]<br /><br />Feeling like you don’t possess what it takes to be great? If you are a child of God, we are told in scripture that when we receive Christ and are adopted into the family of God, we receive the power and the marking of the Holy Spirit who then lives in us [1 Corinthians 6:19, Ephesians 1:13]. And furthermore, unlike biblical times, God no longer dwells behind the walls of a temple building, but takes up residence in your heart [1 John 4:12,15-16, Ephesians 2:22]. In other words, you have 2/3 of the trinity inside of you. 2/3 OF THE TRINITY!!!! We are great because of what—WHO-- is in us. The mere presence of God in us deems us HOLY, WORTHY, and VALUABLE. But it is up to us to allow God to do His thing in us. Aka: get out of the way. Decrease. Seek humility in all things. Seek the character of Christ, who both fully human and fully divine, pointed others to the Father above all else. [“Since then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set our minds on things above, not on earthly things.” Colossians 3:1-2]<br /><br />If we wish to know Christ’s thoughts on greatness and being great, we need look no farther than the first gospel, Matthew. <br />[“At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?...whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” 18:1-4]<br /><br />So here’s to humility. Putting others first. Learning how to be servants of the MOST HIGH God. [1 Peter 2:16] Embracing our greatness not because of who we are or what we’ve done, but because He who is in us is inherently great, and His very essence calls forth the same response of character out of us. <br />It is a blast loving Jesus with you.<br /><br /><br /><br />{ok i can't leave without being honest and saying that this entire post about GREATNESS came to me while at a concert a few weeks ago. the artist would be CELINE DION. need i say more? :)}<br /><br /><br />web article: (Carlyle, Thomas. On Heroes, Hero-Worship and the Heroic in History, Fredrick A. Stokes & Brother, New York, 1888. p. 2.)<br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/356/D150836D032265D9ADCADA39AB4D7293.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-67438838488131993472009-01-02T02:28:00.001-06:002009-01-02T02:29:50.475-06:00A Jesus Year[(It's now officially Jan 2, but this post was started on the 1st. Honest. :)]<br /><br />I am having one of those days (weeks). One of those days where you are fully aware of your brokenness. Fully aware of your stupidity. Your mistakes. Mess-ups. Your straight up JUNK. ever have one of those days?! And it doesn't help that I just saw the movie "Doubt" in the theater. Haha...virtually no correlation with the story line but I think there are some overarching themes that everyone could tap into in some way in their life. Anyways, that has nothing to do with the price of tea in China, but the movie was good so if you like good movies maybe you should go see it. :) Meryl Streep rocks. As usual. And Amy Adams was quite awesome as well I thought. Ah, sorry this is not a movie review blog.<br /><br />Ok, back to my self-loathing (while I eat a brownie...always helpful in that department. Ha.) I don't know, maybe it's an attack of the enemy around this time of year when things are happy and we are to "be of good cheer". Maybe it's the attitude of everyone getting serious and pondering their goals for the new year, and which ones not to attempt again from years past that are sure to end promptly by the 12th day of the year or so...like trying to cut out CHOCOLATE or something. PUH-LEASE. Just eat the darker stuff. Taste awesome. Less Sugar. More Antioxidants. Don't make me go all former-Rocky-Mountain-Chocolate-Factory-shift-manager on you and whip out my excuses for my occasional tiny (HUGE) piece (BAG) of heaven. Stalling. Again.<br /><br />Today I am 2 years old. ("No you're not you're 24 and in complete denial. You've been babysitting too much.") Ha. No, today is my spiritual birthday. :) (If you want to know more about this you can read my long winded commentary on it <a href="http://abbylanehinton.blogspot.com/2008/01/potential-let-downbut-not-really.html">here</a> ; or also on the first few posts i ever wrote "an internal battle", "breaking free or tightening the chains", and "and now I'm free")<br />What a great day for that to happen to land on, huh? January 1. Talk about a New Year's Resolution. I have decided that JESUS is my new year's resolution. I was reading a blog recently where the writer said "I want a Jesus year, don't you?" I remember answering her audibly, as if she sat in the same room with me sharing my cup of 1/2 vanilla nut, 1/2 Swiss almond chocolate coffee (yes, it is divine), but in a whisper saying, "yes, I do." To hear it I think would have sounded like I was pondering my response. Not like a questioned, doubted response, but like "how do i get one of those....a Jesus year." I don't mean He hasn't been around for the last 24 years of my life, the last 13 years since I got baptized, or the last 2 years since I feel like I first met Him face to face. But how do I find Him, no--let Him in to the mistake-prone, sin-driven, straight up ugly areas in me so that I can be changed. <br /><br />Not changed like the first time you believe and begin to understand what it means to live with Christ as your Lord and Savior. But the step after that. Changed in such a way that I stop allowing my laundry list of wish-I-could-redo's to affect my present self which doesn't allow me to see God's best for me, and know how to perceive what that is, based on the truth of God's word--not what any 3rd-party source tries to convince me of or way it tries to hinder the passions of my heart that are the very thing that makes it tick. I hate feeling like some intangible force be it fear or doubt, worry or criticism, opinion or expectation is what speaks the loudest to the outcome of my decisions. [I don't mean ignoring those whispers of wisdom that I believe are meant to protect or warn us (be it your "still small voice" or your "conscience"); I think those little inklings are placed in us for a reason and should be acknowledged like that of a guiding hand of a mentor or otherwise noteworthy voice of reason in our lives.] But I fear that I have spent much of my time the last 2 years listening more to the song of the incapable, than learning how to write my own melody with the tools my Creator has given me.<br /><br />So maybe this reassessment of self-perception that I began this post with, which previously would have birthed itself into indifference, irresponsibility, and driving myself to numbness of thought, will, and has, projected my heart's thoughts into the world, and so has lost it's power as in intangible force in the form of one or more of the above mentioned emotions. An ending to a season of question frustration, and uncertainty, and a promise of present and future beauty, grace, hope and security in something (someone) who at first glance appears intangible as well, but perhaps is the very definition of the opposite-quite tangible-the WORD MADE FLESH. An uncoiling, unraveling, and undoing of myself to find that I in fact am hand-crafted and hemmed in to God's master plan. (Thus, my new blog header :) )<br /><br />I want a Jesus year. A year of asking HIM to be my provider in ALL areas, and then LETTING HIM. A year of asking to be humbled, and graciously receiving the opportunity when it happens. A year of chances--of letting God show me how powerful He can be through me, instead of estimating that factor in my head and reassessing my prayers based on what I think He might be able to handle. A year to ask the one who created me who I am, and then BELIEVE HIM when He tells me. A year of being pro-active about sharing my passions with other people, and telling them about the love that makes my heart beat with such purpose. (And for good measure, we'll throw in a year of more exercise and eating green. :) )<br /><br />With my Jesus year I have also committed myself to memorizing scripture more intentionally. Partially a personal goal already in progress, and partially because of the accountability found <a href="http://livingproofministries.blogspot.com/2008/12/anybody-game.html">here</a> by a group of women who are also in the same life race, seeking to be wiser, and more in love with their Savior. So I wanted to leave you with the verse I chose for my first memorization task.<br /><br />"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert, and streams in the wasteland." [Isaiah 43:18-19]<br /><br />God is doing a new thing. In each of us. Let's not miss it. The Creator of the universe who creates streams of water out of dry ground--that's who I want to know and be loved by. Let's have a Jesus kind of year. And let's have a blast doing it. <br />Love you to pieces.<br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/356/D150836D032265D9ADCADA39AB4D7293.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-5330416883966074362008-12-11T20:00:00.000-06:002008-12-11T20:05:25.904-06:00Be Still My SoulBe still my soul<br />The Lord is on your side<br />Bear patiently<br />The cross of grief or pain<br />Leave to thy God<br />To order and provide<br />In every change<br />He faithful will remain.<br /><br />Be still my soul<br />Thy best, thy heavenly friend<br />Through stormy ways<br />Leads to a joyful end.<br /><br />Be still my soul<br />The waves and winds still know <br />Still know<br />His voice who ruled them<br />While he dwelt below.<br /><br />Oh what peace we often forfeit<br />Oh what needless pain we bear<br />All because we do not carry<br />Everything to God in prayer.<br /><br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOus45dorPU&feature=related<br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/356/D150836D032265D9ADCADA39AB4D7293.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-86347647351408626982008-11-19T23:10:00.000-06:002008-11-19T23:37:31.353-06:00STAY IN YOUR LANEhi :)<br />it's getting a little late, and i just drove 6 hours to my parents house for a birthday/early thanksgiving weekend cause i will be with my other family on the actually holiday...(complete with my favorite 2 year old buddy. :) )...so i'm gonna try to type fast but not miss anything. a few weeks ago i was out nannying for <a href="http://www.nataliegrant.com">this person</a> and i was so blessed to be able to sit in on a devotion by <a href="http://www.maxlucado.com">this person</a>. i only say that because i want to give credit where credit is due, and the below thoughts and ideas are mostly his (with a few words of my own...and i do mean FEW)...and I want to point you to the rightful owner of them should they help you too, then you will know who to thank God for. :) ya'll, i can't tell you how many times A DAY i think about this devotion and how much it has helped me to stay on track and begin to weed out the nonsense in my life that is not from the Lord. <br />i'm sleepy so i'm just going to jump right in :) ....<br /><br />hebrews 12:1 "therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."<br /> <br />we are all in the "race" of life. imagine we are all on a track, and each person has his/her own lane. each lane is specifically marked with boundary lines so that you know the path that your specific lane takes as the road curves and changes. the person to the right of your lane and the person to your left are each in the race with you, as are the others on either side of them, etc. you have one focus, one goal: run the race, in your lane, learning and doing your specific purpose that is unique and specifically designed for you. that lane was made for YOU, and YOU for the purpose in it. when you begin to have feelings of jealousy, envy, coveting, INSECURITIES of any kind, you have crossed over into someone else's lane. you are trying to do the purpose specifically designed for SOMEONE ELSE. STAY IN YOUR LANE. when you cross over into someone else's lane, not only do you attempt a purpose that was NOT designed for you, but you also take your focus off the task that has been gifted specifically to YOU. and if YOU aren't running the race in your lane (because you're trying to be in someone else's), there is NO ONE ELSE to run in your lane for you, so YOUR purpose and design isn't being fulfilled and completed, because you're waisting time trying to be someone else. STAY IN YOUR LANE. allow God to be the one to show you your pace, and how to deal with obstacles (be they distractions, literally something blocking your way, or a pot hole that catches you off guard) in the road when they appear. when we all stay in our respective lanes, we create a bigger picture of God's purpose and plan and how it is designed to work together. when we don't, we are trying to recreate a plan that we don't have the blueprints for.<br /><br />GIRLS. S.T.A.Y. I.N. Y.O.U.R L.A.N.E God made you beautiful. smart. valuable. lovable. special. unique. holy to Him. we are the WORST at stepping into each others lanes/lives and being catty (sp?), jealous, gossip-y (yes i made that word up), backstabbers to each other when really our actions stem from our own insecurities or cracks in our knowledge of the truth, who God is to us and what that means about our own worth. (more about that in another post.) and not to mention the horrible example we become to our teenagers about how to be solid women of faith and the word when we succumb to any one of the above. <br />so let's ENCOURAGE instead of laugh at. SUPPORT instead of tear down. cheer each other on instead of hoping the other one falls so we don't feel so bad about our own mistakes.<br /><br />my best friend and i have started a new habit of asking each other "are you staying in your lane?" i can't tell you what a world of difference this illustration has meant to me. maybe some of you visual learners like myself will benefit from it as well. i hope you are blessed and encouraged today, and homegirl don't forget....<br /><br /><br />STAY IN YOUR LANE.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/356/D150836D032265D9ADCADA39AB4D7293.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-81521197330903830442008-10-16T14:35:00.000-05:002008-10-17T22:33:47.317-05:00On the road again...what is up. geeze i don't even know where i am. hold on let me look at the sign on the bus...<br /><br />ok we're in route to Missouri for most of the weekend. last Friday i showed up at my job at 6:00am. we left shortly after for the airport where we boarded a plane around 8 for Los Angeles, California. first time i've ever been to L.A. (well other than the fact that i grew up there..but that would be LA as in "Lenoir Area" ;) (for those of you still lost, that is the name of my very small hometown in North Carolina where i met my best, and most dear friend (who was also my music teacher *grin*), learned to love Jesus, became the Chubby Bunny champ of my middle school spring fling, learned to drive my first car--a red '88 jeep cherokee that belonged to 3 other family members before me, fell in love with the mountains and fall, and spent many summer days walking to the TCBY just down from my house. awww, memories.<br />so anyways, i had my first for real L.A. trip (well sort of--we were really in Anaheim for a conference) followed by a small detour to MALIBU for 3.5 days to suffer through beautiful sunrises and sunsets, fall asleep to our very own sound machine known as THE OCEAN, eat grilled-cheese poundcake (explain later--sounds gross, but it's HEAVEN), and get a free pedicure walking in the sand. not too shabby for a nanny job, huh? <br />so yesterday morning i woke up in California (i won't even talk about the 4 hour plane ride with one unhappy twin), spent about 6 hours last night in Nashville, and today i woke up in Springfield. we will head to St. Louis for the weekend sometime much later in the night. then add a drop down to Texas on Sunday and i'll be back in my bed by the beginning of next week. which will be slightly short-lived as we leave again next Friday morning for Sacramento, CA. <br />things will calm down a tad for a few weeks...although i'm still traveling every weekend, 2 of the next 3 are for personal trips--one home for a wedding, and the other to lead worship at a retreat with 2 of the most amazing girls. (more on that later:)) <br /><br />i have about 5 post that are almost all done that involve things other than my fame and fortune (minus the latter) for my coffee shop photography, and my travel schedule. God is really having a time with me right now which normally would indicate that His child (me) is being bratty and pushing buttons. but this is more of a growing, stretching, learning to trust sort of time that is really hard, and really hurts, but i know will bring a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time when we remain faithful (col 2:9-10). He is faithful to do His part even when we stink at life. speak the truth girls. even when you don't feel like it or maybe even don't believe it for that moment. speak the truth and cling to Him. He is our hope and security. <br /><br />love you all. dirty diapers are calling..<br />(malibu pictures coming soon...)<br />ps...call your local radio stations (ALL OF THEM) and tell them they need to play a song called "Wonder" by Melissa Greene. DO.IT. don't make me come over there. ;)<br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/307/1727500B5F81C9908A07F388E469B2FE.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a>AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-51421846822378455042008-10-06T19:02:00.000-05:002008-10-07T15:18:55.778-05:00THAT girlcurrently sitting at my computer writing a new post (not this one--one with much more depth and a little less narcissism :) )<br /><br />i just came to a new coffee shop (well i guess it's new...new to me) in town because they have free wi-fi. um, YES PLEASE. i am all about getting free stuff--especially when it comes to the WORLD WIDE WEB which i can not access from my apartment because the forces that be hate me and my computer. <br />moving on. before i stumbled into this shop, i went to barnes & noble cause i wanted to buy some new books to keep me occupied in my free time (wait, what is free time?) and while i was there i thought i would just go ahead and make a coffee purchase so i could swipe my credit card ONCE (instead of a second time at THIS coffee shop) and save my cash for my gas tank which is currently on "E". no. big. deal. <br />until i walk in and sit down with my FREE internet and the barista boy (yes BOY...i looks about the age of some of my nanny children. ok, that's maybe a stretch) comes over and proceeds to try and persuade me to let him make me the same product that i am proudly displaying right beside my computer in my STARBUCKS cup (oops...haha) to prove to me that i should have made my coffee purchase HERE instead of THERE. i didn't feel like explaining to him my brilliant (yet now FLOPPED) plan of only swiping my card once to minimize the amount of purchases on my VISA BILL (does he even know what it means to PAY BILLS?) so i proceeded to explain to him the short version that since i was already THERE buying books, i just went ahead and made my coffee purchase. he was not impressed by my innocently motivated plan and continued to badger me to know what my choice of drink was so that he could humble me with his brilliant plan of convincing me that this hole in the wall shop--which is only open til 8:00--(i'm sorry, is this a coffee shop or a day care? the average night coffee date happens between the hours of 7-10pm...they are losing major 'first date' numbers...pah-lease) is going to somehow be better than my PUMPKIN SPICE YUMMYNESS that is acting as the only source of saneness for this HORMONAL, and quite PMS-y 23 year old woman.<br />I. THINK. NOT.<br /><br />he then took it upon himself to walk back to the counter and pretend like he won the battle and talk about me to his co-workers cause apparently we live in a sound-proof vortex where only people with coffee beans in their back pocket can hear the communicating sounds of one human to another. that's ok, i'll be THAT GIRL that brought Starbucks to the local shop. i'll tell the people in the drive-thru that it tastes better too. :) (wow, i'm in a mood.) <br /><br />*UPDATE* i was just tapped on the shoulder and informed that the (creepy) man who had been taking promo-shots around the shop, apparently shot a really awesome picture of me through the window in my coffee-shopness with my computer, headphones and totally cool hoodie that i got at target like half a lifetime ago...and wanted to know if he could use it on the WORLD WIDE WEB and other promotional things for the barista boy's coffee shop. THAT'S RIGHT barista boy. I MADE THE PROMO MATERIAL. N.O.T. Y.O.U. i dare you to offer me another second-rate latte.<br /><br />oh, and yes, i did turn down the FREE CHOCOLATE COOKIE the photo man offered me for my cooperation with his use of my rockstar photo. THAT is the definition of self control, all you hormonal beings out there. <br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/307/1727500B5F81C9908A07F388E469B2FE.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a>AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-50090378547785617212008-09-30T10:51:00.000-05:002008-09-30T10:52:35.337-05:00excuse me, background color?i don't even like pink. i'll get over it soon.<br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54485/309/87DC121CA1016350C114271494189F61.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a>AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-37078385840288755572008-09-24T15:18:00.000-05:002008-09-24T15:42:17.824-05:00God and Man[Dietrich Bonhoeffer; <span style="font-style:italic;">Ethics</span>]<br /><br />"Man at his origin knows only one thing: God. It is only in the unity of his knowledge of God that he knows of other men, of things, and of himself. He knows all things only in God, and God in all things. The knowledge of good and evil shows that he is no longer at one with this origin. In the knowledge of good and evil man does not understand himself in the reality of the destiny appointed in his origin, but rather in his own possibilities, his possibility of being good or evil. He knows himself now as something apart from God, outside God, and this means that he now knows only himself and no longer knows God at all; for he can know God only if he knows only God. The knowledge of good and evil is therefore separation from God. Only against God can man know good and evil…<br /><br />...It is only with extreme reserve that even the Bible indicates to us that God is the One who knows of good and evil. It is the first indication of the mystery of predestination, the mystery of an eternal dichotomy which has its origin in the eternally One, the mystery of an eternal choice and election by him in whom there is no darkness but only light. To know good and evil is to know oneself as the origin of good and evil, as the origin of an eternal choice and election…<br /><br />...Instead of knowing himself solely in the reality of being chosen and loved by God, he must now know himself in the possibility of choosing and of being the origin of good and evil. He has become like God, but against God. Herein lies the serpent’s deceit. Man knows good and evil, but because he is not the origin, because he acquires this knowledge only at the price of estrangement from the origin, the good and evil that he knows are not the good and evil of God but good and evil against God. They are good and evil of man’s own choosing, in opposition to the eternal election of God. In becoming like God man has become a god against God…<br /><br />...Man knows good and evil, against God, against his origin, god-lessly and of his own choice, understanding himself according to his own contrary possibilities; and he is cut off from the unifying, reconciling life in God, and is delivered over to death. The secret which man has stolen from God is bringing about man’s downfall. Man’s life is now disunion with God, with men, with things, and with himself." <br /><br />enter JESUS: savior of the world.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54485/309/87DC121CA1016350C114271494189F61.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a>AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-5476840321191675592008-09-23T21:56:00.000-05:002008-09-23T21:57:59.270-05:00Desert SongThis is my prayer in the desert <br />When all thats within me feels dry <br />This is my prayer in my hunger and need <br />My God is the God who provides <br /><br />This is my prayer in the fire <br />In weakness or trial or pain <br />There is a faith proved <br />Of more worth than gold <br />So refine me Lord through the flame <br /><br />I will bring praise <br />I will bring praise <br />No weapon formed against me shall remain <br />I will rejoice <br />I will declare <br />God is my victory and He is here <br /><br />This is my prayer in the battle <br />When triumph is still on it's way <br />I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ <br />So firm on His promise Ill stand <br /><br />All of my life <br />In every season <br />You are still God <br />I have a reason to sing <br />I have a reason to worship <br /><br />This is my prayer in the harvest <br />When favour and providence flow <br />I know Im filled to be emptied again <br />The seed Ive received I will sow<br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54485/309/87DC121CA1016350C114271494189F61.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a>AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-59208463213618245022008-09-07T20:16:00.000-05:002008-09-07T20:24:05.582-05:00"pps" from last post ;)<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZp4AcOUxXUyKTYmQ-jlyCugIygVEwRoreLG7ifhXrBfSiNtk8VA2L9sS4t6EY44JMl1lbcX3Kh8gNigf9XmqSiXtrZyCMjuyGohFAA9BPYKP-yNPphyYsRtLNSWzDhc3g9s4zq6YRyaY/s1600-h/abby10.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZp4AcOUxXUyKTYmQ-jlyCugIygVEwRoreLG7ifhXrBfSiNtk8VA2L9sS4t6EY44JMl1lbcX3Kh8gNigf9XmqSiXtrZyCMjuyGohFAA9BPYKP-yNPphyYsRtLNSWzDhc3g9s4zq6YRyaY/s320/abby10.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5243453524063372290" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54485/309/87DC121CA1016350C114271494189F61.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a>AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-84022154367592983652008-09-02T16:41:00.000-05:002008-09-02T17:04:35.232-05:00Excuses, Excusesso i have 3 post under the "draft" category cause i can't seem to be in one place long enough to actually sit and type the whole dern things out. on top of that..i still don't have a working computer, and the one my roommate so graciously let me borrow has now temporarily gone to be with Jesus as well. we are pitiful! i am writing a lot but it's all in my big black journal and i am anxiously awaiting a time when i can transfer all my goofy thoughts to internet land. so basically, i just need to become really good friends with the public library and make a weekly treck over to catch you up. (frankly i'm just really picky about my writing so it takes me forever to edit what i want to say.)<br />lots of things have happened since i wrote a for real post about something other than my lack of writing. some of you know of some of my distractions (*grin*) other than my lack of internet...but most recently i've just been a busy working girl! i'm still reading ya'lls blogs, even though my lack of commenting may make it appear otherwise. those of you that i got to meet in texas...oh.my.word. so many emotions all in one moment at the registration table. it's funny how you just feel like you know everybody already and the only thing missing is the sound of their voice and a 3-D body. :)<br /><br />wait. pause. i need to check something out. OH MY GOODNESS...THERE IS AN ICE CREAM TRUCK IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD!!!!! oh that just made me so happy. ice cream trucks need to make a comeback. for real life. i'm petitioning. (and in the petition i will include the ever so important need of an updated song for repetition throughout all ice cream rounds. i mean really...how many 5 year olds know Fur Elise? <br /><br />back to texas. i do have a few pictures to post, but they are on my roommate's computer so until it decides to quit playing possum (is there an "o" at the front of that word?), there will be much mourning and gnashing of teeth in our anticipation (and hostility towards the technology monster in our apartment) of the possibility of retrieving those dear photos. most of them you have already seen on other people's blogs and facebook accounts, but alas i will add in my duplicates from other angles. :) <br />you ladies are a hoot. <br /><br />ps...keep <a href="http://melissagreenemusic.com">THIS GIRL</a> on your radar...she and Jesus are doin big things. ;) (click link)<br /><br />pps...i'll try to post a picture of distraction #1 soon...sneaky sneaky :)<br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54485/309/87DC121CA1016350C114271494189F61.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a>AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-65270958130855496752008-07-25T00:12:00.000-05:002008-07-25T00:20:30.023-05:00Quiet Entrancei am alive. i am to ashamed of my lack of writing to look at you. so my eyes are blindfolded. (or i'm just being dramatic.) i'm writing to say, that a post is coming. but not tonight. it is late, and again, i'm ashamed. (hehe i like being dramatic.) i will be taking a bubble bath (which is still on my list of favorite things that i think everyone should do once a week) and going to sleep. and when i awake, i shall begin writing. and we will not discuss my time away. it's too heartbreaking to think about all i've missed out on. and there is no use mentioning my absence since we are clearly all aware of it. and it is too painful to relive. (seriously, drama queen award, where do i sign.) talk soon. and remember, we won't mention the brief (if by 'brief' you mean 'extremely long') break from blog world that has just occurred. no condemnation in Christ Jesus. true even in blogworld. ;) <br /><br />love you. mean it. <br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54485/309/87DC121CA1016350C114271494189F61.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a>AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-20265161051153855202008-05-05T18:18:00.000-05:002008-05-25T18:31:40.770-05:00FOR BENJAMIN GREENE(To be read as if singing "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus.)<br /><br />I can’t stop thinking of you <br />and I'm sorry to say<br />I haven’t introduced my blog friends <br />to your name<br />I knew you felt quite left out<br />when you mentioned again<br />That I hurt you, my friend Benjamin. <br /><br />You've got a way of showing<br />when something’s not right<br />I feel like I broke your heart<br />by not putting you online<br />'Cause I saw this awful sadness<br />when you looked in my eyes<br />So sorry I hurt you, my friend Benjamin.<br /><br />The last time I kept Hutch<br />Didn’t talk to you much<br />I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I'm writin’ bout’<br />Felt like I couldn't lie<br />You said that you might cry<br />Your wife Melissa said<br />Oh he’s just the jealous type<br />The next time I long on<br />I will redeem myself<br />Whenever I write again<br />Oo oh Oo Oh I, I want ya’ll to meet, my friend Benjamin.<br /> <br />Can’t shake this awful feeling<br />down deep inside<br />How I let you down by not <br />putting you on my site<br />I'm not a mind reader <br />but I'm reading the signs<br />That I hurt you, my friend Benjamin.<br /><br />The last time I kept Hutch<br />Didn’t talk to you much<br />I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I'm writin’ bout’<br />Felt like I couldn't lie<br />You said that you might cry<br />Your wife Melissa said<br />Oh he’s just the jealous type<br />The next time I long on<br />I will redeem myself<br />Whenever I write again<br />Oo oh Oo Oh I, I want ya’ll to meet, my friend Benjamin.<br /><br />I wrote a post just for you <br />I hope it makes you smile<br /><br />The last time I kept Hutch<br />Didn’t talk to you much<br />I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I'm writin’ bout’<br />Felt like I couldn't lie<br />You said that you might cry<br />Your wife Melissa said<br />Oh he’s just the jealous type<br />The next time I long on<br />I will redeem myself<br />Whenever I write again<br />Oo oh Oo Oh I, I want ya’ll to meet, my friend Benjamin.<br />What an awesome guy...my friend Benjamin.<br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54485/309/87DC121CA1016350C114271494189F61.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a>AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5735786686796831455.post-41931660991853080352008-04-29T00:52:00.000-05:002008-04-29T01:03:05.923-05:00Noodle MaddnessYA'LL. Pyzam has a RAMEN NOODLE blogger layout.<br />Did anybody's day just get better? (Or at least involve an unexpected smile?)<br />10 packs for a dollar...I mean you've GOT to love that. (Or think it's gross and eat it cause you can't afford easy mac.)<br /><br />http://www.pyzam.com/bloggertemplates/preview/ramen-<br /><br />I promise I'm doing more with my life than being giddy about noodles. I will update with something meatier soon.<br />[Oh, and M.G. if you're reading...have your son say noodle. Last time I fed him spaghetti I made him say it like 5 times...it's almost cuter than guacamole. :) ]<br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54485/309/87DC121CA1016350C114271494189F61.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a>AbbyLanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854647701438133179noreply@blogger.com14